It’s the end of week 4, and I’m starting to panic at the thought of being “on my own again”. I talked to Savannah (of Nurture Life Coaching) this week about how I’ve felt calmer, and less easily agitated lately. I can’t put a finger on any one thing that has led to this sense of calm, but I’m sure that finally taking care of me has played a huge role. 

I did some really fun things for me this week.  Shelby Rice (of Shelby Rice Style) came out to the house to help with my wardrobe, and I got my haircut by Kayla at London Influence Salon. 

I’m calling this Round 1 with Shelby. Shelby made the drive out to the house, which means that I had to clean the house so as not to appear like a completely over-whelmed mother of two. I don’t know about everyone, but our house doesn’t exactly have a place for everything.  Sometimes, just sometimes, things might possibly get thrown in the closet when we need to clean up for guests. It was a rude awakening when I realized that this approach was not going to work for Shelby’s visit. Ack! Thank goodness she isn’t also an under-the-bed consultant, or she might have gotten more than she bargained for. ;-) Before Shelby ventured into my always spotlessly clean and organized closet, we spent time talking about how I would like to feel/look in my clothes. My goal of “looking like I’ve been shopping for myself in the last 10 years, and like I showered today” seemed manageable. We then began the process of sifting through my current wardrobe. It was like a trip back in time as we examined my “space shoes” as I call them, which are bound for the girl’s dress up box, and discussed my tiny summer dress collection which hasn’t seen the light of day in about 4 years. We also took the time to have me try on some of my little worn items to figure out what about them just wasn’t working. We moved a few things from the hangers to the donation box, and Shelby left me with some guidance for how to finish the clean out process on my own. Shelby will be back next week to work more on organizing my closet to make it more functional, and putting together some outfits.

Next week, Shelby is also going to help me pick out my outfits for my “after” photo shoot with Kim Campbell of Campbell Salgado Studio. I met with Kim this week to talk about our photo session, and I’m so excited. Kim has some really great backgrounds set up outside, and I’m hoping that we get the right kind of weather for outside shots. Whether we are inside or outside, I’m going to look great for these pictures. I have Shelby to pick my clothes, Amanda (of Pretty in Portland) to do my make-up and my haircut by Kayla looks great. Bring on the camera!

At the heart of the Mama Makeover experience is self-nurture. Jennifer Louden, author of The Woman’s Comfort Book says: “I define self-nurturing as having the courage to pay attention to your needs. Nurturing also means empowerment, the power that comes when stretch and fulfill a goal. And finally, nurturing is celebration, take the time to applaud being alive, being you.”

At its core, “self-nurture” is about your relationship with yourself. It is how you be with yourself rather than just what you are able to do for yourself. It encompasses your attitude and feelings towards yourself, how you talk to yourself internally and your willingness to get your own needs met. 

In my work with women, I find self-nurture to be a very important tool for having inner clarity, for creating a fulfilling life and meaningful relationships.

You see, the more in touch with yourself you are and the better you take care of yourself, the more you have to give others.

Don’t take my word for it. I want you to take a moment and just think about your life. Consider times when you have haven’t taken very good care of yourself, when you lost touch with your needs and you got mired in negative feelings/self talk.

How much energy and attention did you have to give the people in your life that you care the most about when you were depleted?

Now remember a time when you were being kinder to yourself. Perhaps you were in touch with your own needs and took time to deeply nourish yourself.

Didn’t you have so much more to give to the people and projects in your life when you were more nurtured?

When it comes to self-nurture and women, there are a few common roadblocks.

The first is the idea that taking care of yourself is selfish. I can’t tell you how many women have sat in my women’s groups and wholeheartedly proclaimed this myth. As women, we are often naturally giving to others, even to the point of identifying our own self worth with giving. We are even trained by our culture to deny our own needs and pay more attention to the needs of others, especially if we are mothers.

But selfishness is considering your own needs without caring about the needs of others. Whereas self-nurture is about both: my needs are important and your needs are too.

Another common way women get stuck is when we believe that we have to earn self-nurture. We have to get everything done on our to-do list before we can pay attention to ourselves. I want to tell you something important: that is backwards thinking. When you wake up in the morning, the very person you experience is yourself. So, how you feel about yourself from that moment impacts everything that happens in your day.

Another challenge many women report is time/money constraint. I think this happens more when we make self-nurture about action rather than attitude. You see, it costs nothing and takes only a few moments to change negative self-talk. And 20 minutes alone being mindful and present is worth an entire day alone feeling guilty or stressed.

I want to encourage you to start thinking about self-nurture as who you be rather than what you do. It truly is a mind-set shift and one that will transform your relationship with yourself.

Savannah is a Life Coach, who partners with women in gaining clarity into their lives and relationships, launching new ventures, and navigating challenging transitions. She offers personal and group coaching and inspiring workshops. http://nurturelifecoaching.com/

This week, in addition to being mom, wife, cook, shuttle driver, clothes washer, etc., I took on the task of being dog nurse. It’s amazing to look at all of the hats that we wear as moms. It’s also amazing that I can feel so attached to an animal that drives me crazy most days as he stands under my feet in the kitchen. To put it simply, it was a stressful week.

Artist credit: Tracey Buchanan Studio

While the stress of having a dog in the hospital, certainly overshadowed a lot of what went on this week, there are some definite positives to speak of. The biggest news is that I’ve been sleeping a lot better recently. I’m not sure what to attribute my new ability to sleep to, but I’m definitely happy about it. It could be that I’m getting more exercise, so my body is actually feeling ready to rest at the end of the day. Or, it might be that I’m finally getting aligned correctly, so I don’t spend my nights tossing and turning looking for a more comfortable position. Either way, I definitely feel more refreshed when I wake up in the morning, and I can’t complain about that! Wendy (Foster of mamalates) and Dr. Amy (Watson of Whole Mama Whole Child) can argue amongst themselves about whether Pilates or chiropractic care gets the credit for helping me to finally get a good night’s sleep.

I was lucky again this week to have dinner delivered by Dinner at Your Door. By the time dinner was done, both girls were adorable little messes with pasta sauce smeared from ear to ear. I have to say that it’s a lot more fun to clean up kids than to clean up dishes. This meal was definitely another hit at our house.

Speaking of cleaning up, I picked up my dental care package this week from World of Smiles Pediatric Dentistry. The package included a sonic care toothbrush and a whitening kit. The sonic care toothbrush takes the work out of brushing your teeth, in case your arms are exhausted after a session with Wendy. I’m told that it has other benefits too, like being better for your gums in the long run. The World of Smiles office is such a cute place. I was immediately drawn to the enormous fish tank in the middle of the waiting area that was filled with turtles. If that doesn’t keep a little one busy while waiting for their appointment, then maybe the rocket-shaped tent in the corner will. If you decide to check it out for yourself, knock before entering the tent… I may be taking a snooze or blasting off to Mars. 

This coming week Shelby Rice (of Shelby Rice Style) is coming out to the house to makeover my wardrobe; I can’t wait. I’m also heading back to Zenana Spa for a facial on Monday. I’m definitely looking forward to the relaxation time. As for the dog, since I know someone will ask, we still aren’t sure what’s going on, but at least he’s home now.  He seems better than when we took him in last Wednesday, so hopefully things are heading in the right direction. I just wish that he would stop ringing his nurse call button at all hours of the night.